The Triduum

As I was sitting in Church yesterday contemplating my Lenten season, I was overcome with relief. Honestly I hate Lent. I am not so great at fasting, I look terrible in purple, and 40 days is a really long time. So after struggling through my proverbial desert these past 40 days, suffering through numerous mirages, and to be quite honest with you failing (like a lot) I have a arrived at my own personal spiritual Oasis. The Easter Triduum.

For those of you not familiar with the Easter Triduum, it is the name for the three days that lead up to the Resurrection of Christ. This trifecta of Catholic holy days begins on the night of Holy Thursday with the Mass of the Lord’s Supper and concludes on Saturday evening with the Easter Vigil.

This period of the liturgical calendar has always meant so much for me. My love for these three days could possibly stem from my entrance into the Church during the Easter Vigil three short years ago, which was the greatest day of my life. Or my passion for this time of year could be due to the wonderful liturgy and tradition that these three days have presented to me, an experience that lifts me up to Heaven in a way that I do not experience throughout the rest of the year. Maybe I just love the Triduum because it means Lent is finally over, but most likely some mash-up of the three.

For the first time since my entrance into the Church, I had to miss out on Holy Thursday and Good Friday services (my Fiancee has been sick). Don’t get me wrong I am bummed out but through missing the  front end of the Triduum, a realization and appreciation of how much these three days mean to me has developed and for this I am thankful.

Now to get to my point.

While sitting in Church yesterday praying I was inspired. Looking around me the Church was abuzz, it reminded me of what I imagined a  beehive in early summer might be like. There were local high school students practicing for that night’s Stations of the Cross, there was an almost endless line of penitential souls waiting for Confession, several people like me deep in prayer, and various other volunteers and staff  frantically running around the Church preparing for the coming of Christ.

At one point I took a deep breath and was overcome with emotion and filled with the Spirit of our Lord. I realized that on this day, the day of Christ’s death, we as a family had been brought together much in the same way that the death of a loved one brings people together. Through this great tragedy, through this Cross, we the members of His Church are united in His love and our love for each other.

While the the funeral pyres burn down on Holy Saturday and the Church scatters, an even more unifying event is about to take place. An event like nothing we had ever witnessed before Christ and like nothing we will see again until the end of days. A resurrection.

Tonight or tomorrow morning as you remember that moment that happened in a garden thousands of years ago and miles away. Remember what happened as Mary Magdalene looked upon that empty tomb and then into the face of that man and rejoice for he has risen, your Church has been founded, and your place at the banquet table reserved.

Do not forget that as we walk into that Mass we come as disillusioned sinners, but we leave united, we leave as THE CHURCH!

The Divine Within

Based on the popularity of my blog post last week, I thought that I would expand a bit on some of the ideas that I put forth.

Earlier in the week I was reading a secular book, actually one on sports, when I came across an interesting statement made by the author. He commented that Eastern religions were very inward looking while Western religion (particularly Christianity) was outward looking and idol based. This is not saying that Christians worship idols per se, but just that we worship something tangible that exists outside ourselves.

After pondering this thought for a few minutes I became overcome with a tinge of sadness. I began to feel this way because I realized that the author was right, mainstream American Christianity is totally outward facing. Many of my fellow Christians put forth so much emphasis  and on their actions. Actions such as “accepting Jesus into your life”, attending various services, and worrying whether or not their unruly teenage son is saved. Too many of my brother Christians believe that a relationship with God is defined by “us”, “by our actions”.

I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised should I? Go figure Americans believing that they are the key component in a relationship, unbelievable.

Alright now this is the point that I am going to lay some truth on you.

Your relationship with God is not dependent on YOU!

There I said it, go ahead and take a massive sigh, gather yourself, and then comment about how I am the greatest heretic since Nestorius. Yep, your relationship with God has nothing to do with accepting Jesus into your life, and everything to do with the nature of you as a creation of His.

In fact you had a relationship with God before you even existed, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart”. Or at least that is what God told Jeremiah in the first Chapter of the book that bears his name.

Nope you don’t have a relationship with God because you “accepted Him into your life,” you have a relationship with God because you exist.

A Drawing of Christ Crucified by St. John of the Cross

The only variable concerning our relationship with God that we as humans control is the free will to commit sin. After all sin is the only way that one can distance himself from the Creator. One can claim to be saved all he wants, but if that relationship is tarnished by sin, the connection between himself and God is tarnished.

So what does this have to do with your last blog, you know the one about self discovery? Well I am so glad you asked, now let me explain.

Or, actually let St. John of the Cross explain. He can do a much better job than I could ever dream of.

"The very pure spirit does not bother about the regard of others or human respect, but communes inwardly with God, alone and in solitude as to all forms, and with delightful tranquility, for knowledge of God is received in divine silence." 

It seems interesting to me that my guy, John of the Cross, wrote this during the three year period that he was literally imprisoned in a broom closet by his fellow Carmelite brothers. During his time in the deepest of solitude John learned that within the confines of himself is where God truly resides.

How selfish is it of us to believe that Jesus Christ needs our invitation before He can play a role in his life?

Guess what, God doesn’t need that invitation. God is such a part of you, that if He you took him away from the equation, not only would you not exist but existence wouldn’t exist. The cold hard facts are that God is an integral part of everyone's lives whether they believe in him or not and the only way to truly develop a relationship with him is to look inwardly and find that divine silence that so many of the Saints talk about.

Don’t get me wrong things like beauty, reason, and art can and do deepen one's relationship with God, but only because those things reflect the glory of the most beautiful thing that exists: your transcendent soul. The same soul that makes you made in His image.

So you may be wondering, if this solitude inducing search for the Divine within in oneself is such an integral part of our Christian faith then why haven’t I heard of it before?

Well you have, it is called prayer. When you pray you are not throwing up transcendent requests so some God light years away. No you are speaking intimately with the God who resides in the depths of your soul.

Next week I will address the questions of how to pray this way and also how the Catholic Church and specifically the sacraments play a role in this idea of the interior and intimate Divine.

Who Needs Buzzfeed?

 Again I would like to apologize for not posting a blog in over 4 months. Between my computer breaking down, moving to Chicago, and starting a new job I just haven’t had the time or ability to write the past few months. However, in this new year I have resolved to start writing once more, and I am really looking forward to this endeavor. So on that note, to quote everyone’s favorite Italian plumber, “Here we GOOO!!!!”

A few weeks ago my girlfriend was lamenting about how much she loved Buzzfeed. For those of you who don’t know what Buzzfeed is I will attempt to explain. To the best of my knowledge Buzzfeed is essentially a website that makes ridiculous (albeit cute) lists. Opening up the website at this moment I see articles such as “9 unexpected animal sounds” and “13 things to do with a broken arm” you get the poingt. Before my more prudent half mentioned Buzzfeed, I I had a working knowledge of the website, but after learning about her affinity for the site I began to pay more attention to it’s content.  

Specifically I started to note how often articles (or whatever you want to call them) from Buzzfeed seemed to be the topic of Facebook posts. It is really sort of fascinating. I challenge you to you to your Facebook newsfeed right now and I bet that within the first 20 or so posts that there is a Buzzfeed article.

The reason that I mention this ever-so-popular website, is because I believe that it truly is a reflection of my generation. It is short, photo based, and never ending. It most definitely backs up my theory that my peers now view words more as a means of accompanying photos not vice versa. In particular I noticed that a lot of the posts I saw on Facebook were lists of things you had to do or places that you must go (i.e. 23 things to do instead of getting married at 23 or 25 places to visit before you are 25). Now don’t get me wrong I actually enjoy these posts, but my enjoyment opened up my eyes and exposed a huge weakness of mine: as a hopeless romantic I am addicted to place, circumstance, and ambiance.  

For the majority of my life I dreamt of adventure. I saw myself traveling to all of the places that I read about in books. I was always 20,000 leagues under the sea with Jules Verne or stuck on an island with Robinson Crusoe and I could not wait until I was old enough to go on adventures of my own.

Guess what? I grew up, traveled the world, experienced a lot of things, and met tons of amazing people on the way. It was great. My adventures were everything that I could have imagined as a child and then some. But inside me, even after all of the wonderful experiences I had, I was still searching. I was, in a way overcome with sadness because I realized that the experiences no matter how stunning don’t result in fulfillment.

It was at this point that I was at my lowest. Inevitatbly fleeing my sadness and insecurities  I returned to the only home I’ve ever found solace in, books. I was living in Florence at the time and the particular book that I picked up was Dante’s Divine Comedy and within it’s pages I discovered a manifesto of introspective discovery of the self. As Beatrice lead Dante through the 7 story Mt. Purgartorio, I began to realize that there was a vast and undiscovered world within me and I held the key.

Later I would discover this world to be my soul. My transcendent being. I remember reading somewhere shortly after that through getting to know oneself, you are truly growing in relationship with God. He is so intertwined into the fabric of our being that the higher we climb, the better we understand our creator.

It is in the same way that one grows in understanding of an artist the more time you spend in admiration of his work. I may have never met Melville or Michelangelo, but I have a sense of who they were after spending time with my nose in Moby Dick or my eyes fixated upon The David.

Getting back to Buzzfeed, I guess I just wanted to touch on the fact that so often we spend our lives dreaming about the 21 places on our list we need to visit before we turn 21. All the while ignoring the most beautiful of God’s creations……. ourselves.

Don’t get me wrong, explore the world. But don’t be afraid to shut of the phone, turn out the lights, sit down on the floor, and spend some time in silences getting to know who you are. This is the way that I came to know God.

One of my favorite authors Thomas Merton puts it best when he says, “We are so obsessed with doing that we have no time and no imagination left for being. As a result, men are valued not for what they are but for what the do or what they have - for their usefulness."

So take the time out of your day and just be. The best part is that it is free. You don’t have to be religious, just open. Sometimes the greatest discoveries that you make are the ones that you were not looking for.

In Christ,

Logan D. Cox