The First Post of Many: Your Dreams Are Not Your Own

It was the 28^th of August 2012, one year ago today. It was a day that now that I am far removed from; I can look back on with a sense of joy and an underlying tone of sadness. You see, one year ago today I was sitting in the dining room of the St. Thomas of Villanova Monastery as a bright eyed and enthusiastic Pre-Novice with the Order of St. Augustine. Spread out in front of me was the best of the best. I’m talking about filet mignon, lobster tail, and enough booze to make a Manhattan for every student on Villanova’s fine campus. The celebration (for those of you who don’t know) was of course for the feast day of St. Augustine, the spiritual father and namesake of the Augustinians, or as many of my Augustinian brothers referred to it as Augustine’s day.

I remember looking around the dining room at the hundred or so priests and brothers and thinking, “wow after a year of waiting, I am finally a part of this.” I was honored, inspired, and moved to be sitting in the same room and dining at the same table as so many holy men. I thought of the thousands of confessions, masses, baptisms and other sacraments that had been performed by the priests in the room, as well as the countless hours of service to the Church in so many ways that the wonderful lay brothers had given up at the expense of their own lives. It was so profound and almost romantic, sitting in the middle of a room full of people who had dedicated their whole lives to God. How wonderful was it too, that we had all gathered together during my first week in the Order in order celebrate the day that the Church had designated to celebrate our our founder. How beautiful and triumphant it was to lift up the man, who some 17 centuries ago, birthed my vocation in a small monastery in northern Africa, and what an honor it was to celebrate not only a great Saint but a spiritual father as well. Little did I know that only eight short months later I would leave Philadelphia and the Augustinians on a plane headed home, a bit depressed and with as my Mother says best, “No direction in life.”

I am still trying to figure things out with my life, but the point that I wanted to share with you, this being my first blog post, is that our lives are not our own. Only a year ago I was so excited to live out my life as an Augustinian and hopefully someday a Catholic priest, but over the months of prayerful discernment it became clear to me that this wasn’t what God was calling me to do. Even though my leaving left a huge hole in my heart, that still hasn’t healed, I knew when I left that I was not doing what I wanted, but instead following God’s plan for me.

Today while reading the tail end of the book of Romans I was introduced to an experienced but wide-eyed Apostle Paul, who expressed great desire and dreams. While writing to his fellow Christians in Rome, Paul repeats several times that his plans were to make it to Spain. The zealous apostle of our Lord had the desire to literally go to the end of the world proclaiming the Gospel of Jesus Christ. As you probably know Paul never made it to Spain, and while he sat on the executioner’s block I am sure that he felt somewhat like a failure. But we must remember that it was not God’s plan for Paul to go to Spain, instead God planned for him to do something greater. For the words that were written or inspired by St. Paul fill up the majority of the New Testament and through his words he assisted in bringing Christ not only to Spain, but all reaches of the world.

You and I must remember that just because God hasn’t called us to do exactly what we dreamed of or serve him in a particularly way that we may have envisioned, that we are all called to holiness, we are all called to love. There is not a single Saint who has been canonized for the things that they have done, but instead they are recognized and honored for the way that they lived; their holiness. So remember to pray without ceasing, love God with all your heart, and live life in a way that is not yours but His!

I guess that is why I have decided to write this blog, to challenge myself as well as my fellow Christians. The title of my blog is, “In Search of Truth”. My prayer is that the words that I write down assist others in realizing that to be truly Christian doesn’t mean to be a feel-good hippy Jesus lover, but instead it means to be a sacrificial lover  and a pursuer of truth. That is what Jesus’ message was about, to always seek truth, be honest with yourself, and as Augustine says first, “love and then everything else.” So thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to read this shoddily put together blog (I promise a much higher quality from now on) and have a great day never forgetting that you are beautifully and wonderfully made.

-Logan D. Cox 8/28/2013 Quincy, IL

Unhardened Hearts: The Path to Mature Christianity

Warning: I know that this blog post is kind of academic, so if you don't want to think at all then don't read it. I will post something a little lighter later in the week. This is my response to Robert Marstin's book Beyond Our Tribal Gods. The book has its faults, but it is a good read. In this article I reference the life of Archbishop Oscar Romero as my case study.

Throughout Christian sacred scripture the term, “hardened heart” is applied to a person or group of people who are unwilling or unable to open up to or accept a teaching or commandment from God. In the New Testament Christ is constantly frustrated by the hardness of the hearts of the people he is ministering to. Whether it be his own disciples or a group of Pharisees, the combination of unwillingness and inability to accept and or comprehend Christ’s teachings are repeatedly expressed as a “hardness of heart.” While it may sound otherwise, the hardness of heart that was displayed by the characters of the New Testament was not necessarily a bad thing. This hardness of heart was nothing more than an indication of an immature faith. Christ makes this apparent in Mark chapter 10 when the Pharisees confront him about the teachings on divorce. After the Pharisees acknowledge that the Law of Moses permits divorce Jesus continues on saying, “For your hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment. But from the beginning of creation, God made male and female. For this reason man shall leave his father and mother and be joined with his wife, and two shall become one flesh. So they are no longer two but one flesh. (Mark 10:5-8)” In this statement Jesus is clearly proclaiming that the law of Moses was written because the Mosaic Jews were a people of immature faith, whose hearts hardened, but the standard of God is much higher as indicated by Christ’s more difficult teaching further in the reading which claims divorce should not be permitted. Christ was then and still is today calling his flock to be a people of mature faith, a people of unhardened hearts.

This treacherous unraveling of the heart is a pilgrimage that every mature Christian must make. In Beyond Our Tribal Gods, Robert Marstin attempts a noble effort to document this journey from a hardened heart to a mature faith. His argument is essentially that a mature faith is one marked by the realization that inherent human dignity exists. While Marstin does make his point, I found much of the language in his book to be poorly selected and confusing. In order to resolve this confusion, I have examined his texts and using my own language have isolated eight essential characteristics or stepping stones that a that a person and eventually a society must go through to obtain Marstin’s “mature faith”. These eight characteristics mark the foundation of the journey from the hardened heart to a living breathing mature Christian faith. Each characteristic of mature faith is essential to this journey and build upon those that precede it. I would argue that instead of being individual characteristics, that these eight characteristics represent a point in ones evolution from a hardened heart to a mature faith. I will vitally tie in Marstin’s arguments with my own and will support my claims by providing examples from the life of Archbishop Oscar Romero.

Religious Impulse

The integral and foundational characteristic of a mature Christian faith is the religious impulse. In essence the religious impulse as Marstin describes it is the realization that there is something beyond the obvious physical world, and opens humans to the prospect that there is something above and beyond the present, and allows us to consider our actions as “provisional and under judgement for what is to come. (Marstin 47)” The religious impulse allows us to see beyond the status quo and not accept the apparent, but to challenge it in search of righteousness or justice. When this impulse is abandoned we accept the status quo because, “that is just the way it is (Marstin 47).”

The reason that this religious impulse is so important to mature faith, is that it keeps us constantly seeking something beyond reality. It allows us to not accept what is simply because it is, but to challenge reality and seek truth and justice. The religious impulse became apparent when Romero began to first question the injustice that was being served to the poor of his diocese soon after he was appointed Bishop of the Diocese of Santiago de Maria. While it was at this point the religious impulse became apparent in Romero, it must have been there  brewing throughout his priesthood and continued to grow until he realized that there was no other option to act. Romero even admits that his religious impulse was numbed by so many years of serving away from the poor from which he came. A numbness that quickly subsided when he again experienced the plight of the poor in Santiago de Maria.

Experience of Changing Proportion

Marstin equates growth in faith with the ability to identify with others, to see things from their perspectives, and to notice the link between the fortunes of one person to the misfortunes of another. This is the next step on the road from the hardened heart to mature faith. While the religious impulse leads one to question the world around him, it takes an experience of changing proportion, that inevitably links the fortunes of one man to the misfortunes of another.

For Romero this experience was the plight of the poor in Santiago de Maria. The observation that Romero made while Bishop,was one that saw men and women in Santiago de Maria who were hard at work in the field all day, but still sleeping on the streets. He made the connection that it was unfair for these people to be working all day and not receiving a livable wage. In this Romero, realized that there was a link between the fortunes of the wealthy landowners and the misfortunes of the poor peasant laborers. A realization that would change him forever.

Conversion of Self

Marstin rightly notes that those who are sensitive to injustice still have a choice. A choice to turn a blind eye to the situation, or to do something about it. The response of the hardened heart would be to choose to turn a blind eye to injustice, and is often the place where most of humanity fails. But for the few that do choose to take on injustice something happens, a change within. By making this decision one becomes converted from the desire to serve one’s self to dedicating themselves to eradicate injustice. This is what is known as the conversion of self. While this conversion may not happen overnight, the conversion of self is a choice that must take place in order for one to take action. Romero had to choose to serve the poor of Santiago de Maria long before any action could take place, this choice is the was the manifestation of Romero’s self conversion.

Action on an Individual Level

Finally we arrive at action, one of the most integral characteristics of  a mature faith. In the book of James claims that “faith without works is dead. (James 2:17)”  In his book Marstin clearly agrees with this assessment. In Chapter 3 Marstin states that the maturity of our faith should be judged by our action, not just our ideas. It is after all action that changes society, it cannot be done by ideas alone. I chose to use the term individual action, because that is where it must start. The individual must move beyond deciding to do something to actually doing it. This action, an actual movement towards justice, is the greatest characteristic of faith. It is through these individual actions that change is fostered. Not only is action inspiring change, but it encourages and inspires the marginalized as well as others who may be desiring to take action in pursuit of justice.

For Romero this individual action began while he was Bishop of Santiago de Maria. After he had realized that the poor were being taken advantage of he chose to do something about it. Using his authority as Bishop Romero provided much needed food and shelter for those of his flock that needed it. This action, however simple it may have seemed, marked a gigantic step on the Romero’s path to mature faith. Romero had taken action and done what so many of his peers in positions of authority were unwilling to do, stand up to injustice and take the side of the poor.

Solidarity

Another important characteristic of a mature faith is solidarity. Mastin and I would agree that the building of a community of solidarity is essential to the mature faith. What I mean by the term “community of solidarity” is the formation of a group of people regardless of their economic, social, religious, or political backgrounds joining together to stand up for injustice. Those in power joining in solidarity with the marginalized is incredibly important because it gives those who would not normally have one a voice. To me a group of people who have joined together in solidarity mark the ultimate maturation of faith, to see a group of people banded together in a state of solidarity is one of the most powerful statements that could be made and Romero proved this.

Solidarity with the people came abruptly for Romero with the death of Padre Grande. By choosing to hold an Archdiocesan funeral mass for Fr. Grande the newly elected Archbishop Romero was making a statement, a statement of solidarity. Romero was sending a message to the Salvadoran aristocracy, that injustice was no longer going to be tolerated by the Church or its people. Suddenly the poor and marginalized of El Salvador had a loud booming voice speaking for them and in solidarity with them. Romero, as a statement of his solidarity with his flock, began to visit and listen to the poor in his Archdiocese. Through the resurrection of the Archdiocesan radio station the Archbishop literally gave the poor a voice by speaking on their behalf during his radio show and his homilies which were both broadcast for all to hear. Romero was acting in solidarity with his people in order to stand up to injustice, a tradition that he continued until his death.

Activism

Marstin believes that activism is an essential quality of  a mature faith, where I do not necessarily agree. While activism certainly is a characteristic that can be had by someone of a mature faith, I do not believe that it is essential to a mature faith. But it is worth mentioning especially when considering the case of Archbishop Romero. Certainly solidarity leads to activism in some cases, but unlike all of the previous characteristics of faith one cannot claim that another is not mature in their faith if they are not an activist.

Activism is a step beyond solidarity. It is putting a foot forward in order to prevent an injustice, while risking personal harm to oneself or family. Romero was an activist, because he not only spoke out in solidarity with the poor, but he publicly condemned the actions of the ruling class that he was once a part of. Romero showed his activism by refusing to meet publicly with government officials, encouraging the poor to stand up for themselves and risking his life to publicly defend the poor. In a way Romero’s actions of activism were an extension of his solidarity, an extension that would result in his assassination.

Societal Change and Liberation

Societal change and liberation are the final two characteristics of a mature faith and the ultimate goal of those seeking justice. These characteristics are not ones that can be possesed by an individual who is mature in faith, but would surely be displayed by a society of mature faith. When solidarity and activism spark a societal change that leads to the liberation of the oppressed, truly the people of a nation that can do this are a people of mature faith. Liberation was never able to be achieved for El Salvador during or after Romero’s life, it is the true sign of a nation whose people are a people of faith who no longer maintain hardened hearts.

A Nation of Immigrants

Thanks again to all of you who are reading my blog. I really appreciate it and hope that you take something away from it each time you read one of my posts. This is a letter that I wrote for one of my classes The Preferential Option for the Poor. Immigration reform is something that I am really passionate about and hopefully you are too after reading this. Please feel free to leave comments, I would love to hear from you.

To Whom it May Concern,

As you know we live in a nation built on a foundation of immigrants. Immigration is a tradition that is as American as can be. A tradition that began 392 years ago when the Mayflower crossed the Atlantic and formed the first permanent European settlement in the United States. What you may not know is that while our country is proud of our immigrant tradition and loves boasting about our national status as a “melting pot,” we have an equally lengthy tradition of rejecting, persecuting, and marginalizing immigrants in this country. Whether it be the Irish, Jews, or Italians on the East Coast, the Koreans, Chinese, and Japanese to the West, or the Hispanics to the South, the same immigrants that help build this great country were met by “Americans” with hostility and persecution, a tradition that sadly is being upheld today.
There are currently approximately 11.1 million undocumented immigrants living in the United States today and thousands more that are attempting to enter our country illegally each year. These undocumented immigrants are the backbone of our workforce, they are gladly taking the most difficult low-wage jobs that many Americans quite frankly just will not do. Yet these human beings, who play a vital role in the economy of the United States, are not being treated with the respect and dignity that every human deserves. These undocumented persons are for the most part productive, tax-paying, and all around good people, who are oftentimes the only source of income for their families in the States as well as back home in their country of Origin. Still to be undocumented in the United States means to live in fear. Each undocumented person in the United States must worry everyday about getting deported, losing everything that they’ve worked for, and having to make the treacherous journey back into the United States (most often across the U.S.-Mexican border). So why do we, a country with a rich and deep tradition of immigration, continue to promote and maintain a broken set of immigration policies? Something must be done so that the dignity of these 11 million people can be restored and they no longer will have to live in fear.

The first thing that we must do is create a legal path to citizenship for those undocumented immigrants residing in the United States. Passing the DREAM Act would be a good start. The young people who were brought to the United States illegally as children are victims. They did not choose to come into America and they certainly did not choose to break any laws. These young people should not be punished for crimes that they did not commit. Many of the people that the DREAM act would affect are as American as you and I. They grew up in the States, went to public schools, and are the children of good tax-paying parents. However, with all this being true these young men and women are being punished. These young people are not eligible for Federal Student Aid and since many of them come from low-income situations they cannot attain the level of education that will allow them to live out their full potential. Even if these young people are not interested in pursuing higher education, because of their undocumented status it proves very difficult for them to obtain gainful employment. Again these people should not be punished, the DREAM Act must be passed. Allowing these young people to become citizens would also create a pathway to citizenship for their parents by giving the new American citizens the chance to sponsor their parent’s applications for citizenship and in turn allow these people to live without fear for the first time in years.

Secondly, we must either completely secure our borders or begin to allow all people who want to work in the states, barring a criminal past, work visas. The truth is that undocumented and migrant workers provide a much needed workforce in the United States with many industries, especially agriculture, depending on the abundance of cheap labor provided by these people. Without this vital workforce that many industries depend on, our national economy certainly could not continue at it’s current level. However, if the American people are still opposed to allowing these workers from the south into this country something must be done to stop them from coming in. We must build a wall, hire more Border Patrol agents, or do something to make sure that not a single immigrant crosses into our country illegally. The current patchwork system of agents and fences is not keeping these undocumented people out of our country. All that the current system is doing is forcing those who are attempting to enter the country illegally, to cross the border in some of the most rugged terrain in the world. Each year thousands of people die trying to cross the border into the United States from Mexico and this must be stopped. These people are human beings who possess dignity and rights. Being the great nation that we are we must recognize these people and their plight and put an end to this senseless death and tragedy. This means that we must either grant a much greater number of temporary work visas to all who apply for them or create a better system that does not allow anyone to enter this country illegally. I believe in the people of the United States. I believe that we can stand up for these people, allow them the dignity that they deserve, and an opportunity obtain a better life.

Finally, we must work with Central American and Caribbean governments to create sustainable and decent paying jobs within their borders. The majority of undocumented and migrant workers are not immigrating to the United States because the want to, but rather because it is a necessity. Most of the people who cross into our country from Mexico are doing so because they cannot find work back home in Nicaragua, México, Honduras, or El Salvador and to put it bluntly their families are starving to death. As a country the United States needs to create policies that encourage and reward businesses that invest in and create good sustainable jobs in Central America. Policies like these would provide jobs for those seeking employment in the aforementioned countries and greatly reduce the need of these people to immigrate to the United States in order to survive. It would also be the foundation of a much stronger Central American economy which would provide a great trading partner for the United States in the future.

I understand that this issue is not as cut and dry as I make it out to be. I just hope that I proved the point that something must be done. Our immigration policy in this country is broken and has to be fixed. Too many people are senselessly dying because of bigotry and bad policy in America. Again we must recognize the humanity in all people, especially the poor and marginalized and provide them with the dignity and respect that should be bestowed upon all people. After all we are a nation founded by immigrants and I think we have turned out pretty well so far. So let’s continue our great countries tradition and provide an option for the poor.

Why I Can't Stand Those Red Equal Signs

First off, I would like to say that this is not an anti-gay marriage, anti-gay, or any sort of anti-anything. I have a number of gay friends and all of them would tell you that I show them nothing but love and respect, even if I don’t have the same set of beliefs and values that they do. Just because you disagree with someone on an issue like this, does not mean that you love or respect them any less. That is right I don’t support the “gay marriage movement,” but that is a blog for another time.

The real issue here  is with all of these people posting red equal signs on Facebook. If you haven’t seen them or don’t know what they are, they look like this.

This image is a stunt put on by the Human Rights Campaign (which should be renamed the LGBT Human Rights Campaign, because those are the only rights they seem to be standing up for), to show the world, through Facebook by placing this image as your profile pic, that you support gay rights and specifically in this case gay marriage. This movement is in response to several gay rights cases concerning marriage that are being heard in the Supreme Court this week.

Now, I could actually care less about this issue. I don’t support gay marriage, but I am not an anti-gay marriage activist. I believe that any sexual intercourse that is not open to life is sinful. So I am also anti-contraception (with some extreme exceptions) and anti-premarital sex. There I said it, now everyone can hate me equally.

No, my problem with this campaign is its message of “equality.” Thousands of people around the world are putting this symbol of equality as their profile picture, when let’s be honest they don’t really mean it.

Look I get it. It has become super trendy, cool, and “open-minded” to support the gay marriage cause. And changing your Facebook profile pic is a cool way to show how super progressive you really are. But do you really believe the message that your profile picture is delivering? Do you really believe in equality? If you do, if you really do believe that all people are equal, then you are truly countercultural because our society doesn’t.

If we believe in the message of equality that our profile pictures claim we do, then certainly we stand up for the unborn! Oh yeah, that’s right, we don’t. In the United States, the most dangerous place to be is in the mothers womb, 22% of all pregnancies in this country end in abortion (think about all of the people in the womb that were prevented from getting a gay marriage, because their mother, a doctor, and a few nurses chose to kill them). We live in a society where pregnancy is treated as a disease. A society where killing a pregnant woman results in a charge of double homicide, but if a doctor digs the child out with the mothers permission it’s fine. Doesn’t sound so equal does it?

If we believe in the message of equality that our profile pictures claim we do, then certainly we stand up for the poor and marginalized! Oh yeah, that’s right, we don’t. Chances are if you are reading this, you ate today. That’s great, but 13% of humanity or roughly 950,000,000 people didn’t. We live in a society that seeks to amass wealth, comfort, and abundance (think of all of the people that couldn’t get a gay marriage because they starved to death). In America we will do just about anything to get the lowest price possible. Including paying people unlivable wages all around the world to do things like pick our coffee, make our shoes, and harvest our bananas. We do this all in the name of what corporations call the “profit margin” so that their stocks will go up and the investors will be happy. Here is a stat for you. If the United States just cut it’s food waste by 20% world hunger would be erased. We live in a country whose corporations exploit people and we are doing nothing about it. But we support equality with our little red profile pic.

Here is a prime example of how American greed is marginalizing the people of La Oroya Peru.

Listen I could go on and on with examples of how our society doesn’t treat people equally, but hopefully you get the point.

You see, the reason it is so easy to support gay marriage, is because people don’t have to do any work or change our lives in order to be supportive of the cause. But the second an issue comes by that may require some sacrifice or work, it is ignored. Because as a society sure we support equality, but only when it is convenient for us. We live in a society that seeks comfort above anything else including equality.

When the rich young man came to Christ asking what he needed to do to gain eternal life the response was, “sell your things and follow me.” How are you responding to that call? The call to make following Christ the priority in your life? The call to clothe the naked, feed the hungry, love your neighbor as yourself, and so on? The call to greatness? The call for equality?

Me volunteering in a orphanage in Mexico.